Here are some great quotes for you to enjoy.

List of quotes to use from shows and movies

I love coming up with cheesy quotes from shows and movies to put in cards and emails. Life goes so quick but it is still a good idea to put together a nice quotes list. Here are some Airplane Quotes items I have now:

Capt. Oveur: Ok give me Hamm on 5 and hold the Mayo

Steve: He'll never bring it down in this soup. Never! Not one chance in a million.

Rex: I know. I know. But it's his ship now, his command; he's in charge, he's the boss, the head man, the top dog, the big cheese, the head honcho, number one...

Handing Lady: Nervous?

Ted Striker: Yes. Very.

Handing Lady: First time?

Ted Striker: No, I've been nervous lots of times.

Ted Striker: What a pisser.

Dr. Rumack: I just want to tell you both,good luck.We're all counting on you.

Capt. Oveur: No dialogue as such but crazy and unforgettable newspaper headline that read; "BOY TRAPPED IN REFRIGERATOR EATS OWN FOOT"

Capt. Oveur: [newspaper that has the headline] 'Boy Trapped In Refrigerator Eats Own Foot.'

McCroskey: Looks like I picked the wrong week to quit smoking.

McCroskey: Looks like I picked the wrong week to quit drinking.

McCroskey: Looks like I picked the wrong week to quit amphetamines.

McCroskey: Looks like I picked the wrong week to quit sniffing glue.

Man in Taxi: I'll give him 20 more minutes. But that's it.

McCroskey: Johnny, what can you make of this? [hands Johnny a map]

Johnny: This? Well, I can make a hat; I can make a brooch; I can make a pterodactyl!

Ted Striker: Looks like the foot is on the other hand now, Mr. Kramer!

Dr. Rumack: Can you fly this plane and land it?

Ted Striker: Surely you can't be serious?

Dr. Rumack: I am serious, and don't call me Shirley.

Young Boy with Coffee: Excuse me, I happened to be passing, and I thought you might like some coffee.

Young Girl with Coffee: Oh, that's very nice of you, thank you. (Takes coffee) Oh, you won't sit down?

Young Boy with Coffee: Cream?

Young Girl with Coffee: No thank you, I take it black, like my men.

Dr. Rumack: Captain, how soon can we land?

Capt. Oveur: I can't tell.

Dr. Rumack: You can tell me, I'm a doctor.

Elaine Dickinson: There's no reason to become alarmed, and we hope you'll enjoy the rest of your flight. By the way, is there anyone on board who knows how to fly a plane?

Capt. Oveur: Joey, have you ever been in a turkish prison?

Handing Lady: Nervous?

Ted Striker: Yes.

Handing Lady: First time?

Ted Striker: No, I've been nervous lots of times.

Hanging Lady: Nervous?
Ted Striker: Yes.
Hanging Lady: First time?
Ted Striker: No, I’ve been nervous lots of times.

Capt. Oveur: Joey, have you ever been in a Turkish prison?

Ted Striker: These people need to go to a hospital

Ted Striker: These people need to go to a hospital.

Elaine Dickinson: What is it?

Ted Striker: It's a big place where sick people go

Ted Striker: It's a big place where sick people go.

Elaine Dickinson: Does anyone here speak Jive?

Ted Striker: Surely you can't be serious!

Dr. Rumack: I am sure. And don't call me Sherly

Kramer: No... that's just what they'll be expecting us to do!

Dr. Rumack: i just wanted to say good luck and we're all counting on you

Dr. Rumack: I just want to tell you both good luck. We're all counting on you.

Dr. Rumack: I am serious... and don't call me Shurley

Ted Striker: Surely you can't be serious.

Dr. Rumack: I am serious...and don't call me Shirley.

Capt. Oveur: Joey, have you ever been in a Turkish prison?

Capt. Oveur: Joey, do you like movies about gladiators?

Capt. Oveur: Have you ever been in a plane cockpit before?

Joey: No, sir.

Capt. Oveur: Ever seen a grown man naked?

Ted Striker: Surely you can't be serious!

Dr. Rumack: I am serious... and don't call me Shirley.

Ted Striker: Surely you can't be serious?

Dr. Rumack: I am serious. And don't call me Shirley.

McCroskey: Looks like I picked the wrong week to quit sniffing glue.

McCroskey: Looks like I picked the wrong week to quit smoking.

Capt. Oveur: You ever been in a cockpit before?

Joey: No sir, I've never been up in a plane before.

Capt. Oveur: You ever seen a grown man naked?

It was a rough place - the seediest dive on the wharf. Populated with every reject and cutthroat from Bombay to Calcutta. It's worse than Detroit.

Ladies and gentlemen, this is your stewardess speaking. We regret any inconvenience the sudden cabin movement might have caused. This is due to periodic air pockets we encountered. There's no reason to become alarmed and we hope you enjoy the rest of your flight. By the way, is there anyone on board who knows how to fly a plane?

Looks like I picked the wrong week to quit smoking.

Looks like I picked the wrong week to quit sniffing glue!

All right, Striker, you listen, and listen close. Flying a plane is no different from riding a bicycle; it's just a lot harder to put baseball cards in the spokes.

Jack Kilpatrick: Shana, they bought their tickets. They knew what they were getting into. I say, let 'em crash!

Young Girl Passenger: [when offered cream for her coffee] No thank you, I take it black…like my men.

LA Control Tower: Flight 2-0-9'er, you are cleared for take-off.

Oveur: Roger.

Murdock: Huh?

LA Control Tower: L.A. departure frequency: 1-2-3 point 9'er.

Oveur: Roger.

Murdock: Huh?

Basta: Request vector, over.

Oveur: What?

LA Control Tower: Flight 2-0-9'er, clear for vector 2-3-4.

Murdock: We have clearance, Clarence.

Oveur: Roger, Roger. What's our vector, Victor?

Randy: Excuse me sir, there's been a little problem in the cockpit…

Striker: The cockpit…what is it?

Randy: It's the little room in the front of the plane where the pilots sit, but that's not important right now.

Oveur: You ever been in a cockpit before?

Joey: No, sir, I've never been up in a plane before.

Oveur: You ever…seen a grown man naked? Do you…like movies about gladiators?

Oveur: Joey, have you ever been…in a Turkish Prison?

Reporter: What kind of plane is it?

Johnny: Oh, it's a big pretty white plane with red stripes, curtains in the windows and wheels and it looks like a big Tylenol!

[Elaine and Rumack investigate the fish poisoning]

Elaine: Doctor, Mr. Hammen ate fish, and Randy said there are five more cases, and they all had fish, too.

Rumack: And the co-pilot had fish. What did the navigator have?

Elaine: He had fish.

Rumack: All right, now we know what we're up against. Every passenger on this plane had fish for dinner will become violently ill in the next half hour.

Elaine: Just how serious is it?

Rumack: Extremely serious. It starts with a slight fever and dryness of the throat.

[Oveur starts suffering from these]

Rumack: When the virus penetrates the red blood cells, the victim becomes dizzy, begins to experience an itchy rash...

[Oveur suffers from those as well]

Rumack: ...then the poison goes to work on the central nervous system, severe muscle spasms followed by the inevitable drooling.

[Oveur also suffers from these]

Rumack: At this point, the entire digestive system collapses accompanied by uncontrollable flatulence. [Oveur does]

Rumack: Until finally, the poor bastard is reduced to a quivering wasted piece of jelly.

[Oveur collapses completely at the controls and the plane plummets, people swaying back and forth, and warning sign comes on saying "No Smoking - Rows 11-51, No Sexual Intercourse - Rows 13-51"]

Dr. Rumack: Captain, these passengers don't have much time. How soon can we land?

Oveur: I can't tell.

Dr. Rumack: You can tell me, I'm a doctor.

Oveur: What I mean is, I don't know.

Dr. Rumack: Well can't you take a guess?

Oveur: ...Not for another two hours.

Dr. Rumack: You can't take a guess for another two hours?

Oveur: No what I'm saying is we can't land for another two hours.

Joey: Wait a minute. I know you. You're Kareem Abdul-Jabbar! You play basketball for the Los Angeles Lakers!

Murdock: I'm sorry, son, but you must have me confused with someone else. My name is Roger Murdock. I'm the co-pilot.

Joey: You are Kareem! I've seen you play. My dad's got season tickets.

Murdock: I think you should go back to your seat now, Joey. Right, Clarence?

Oveur: Nah, he's not bothering anyone, let him stay here.

Murdock: [shows his nametag] But just remember, my name is Roger Murdock. I'm an airline pilot.

Joey: I think you're the greatest, but my dad says you don't work hard enough on defense. And he says that lots of times, you don't even run down court. And that you don't really try, except during the playoffs.

Murdock: The hell I don't! [looks around to make sure no one is watching and grabs Joey by the shirt up close] Listen, kid. I've been hearing that crap ever since I was at UCLA. I'm out there busting my buns every night! Tell your old man to drag Walton and Lanier up and down the court for 48 minutes.

Striker: The stewardess said... [Before he could say that she told him the pilot needed help, he notices that only the autopilot is flying the plane] BOTH pilots?!

Rumack: Can you fly this plane and land it?

Striker: Surely you can't be serious?

Rumack: I am serious. And don't call me Shirley.

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