Caddyshack Quotes

Huge list of some great quotes from your favorite movies and shows

Caddyshack Quotes

Here are some great quotes for you to enjoy.

List of quotes to use from shows and movies

I love coming up with cheesy quotes from shows and movies to put in cards and emails. Life goes so quick but it is still a good idea to put together a nice quotes list. Here are some Caddyshack quotes items I have now:

Ty: I like you, Betty.

Danny: It's Danny, sir.

Ty: Danny. Danny, I'm going to give you a little advice. There's a force in the universe that makes things happen; all you have to do is get in touch with it. Stop thinking...let things happen...and be...the ball.

 

Danny Noonan: I haven’t even told my father about the scholarship I didn’t get. I’m gonna end up working in a lumberyard the rest of my life.

Ty Webb: What’s wrong with lumber? I own two lumberyards.

Danny Noonan: I notice you don’t spend too much time there.

Ty Webb: I’m not quite sure where they are.

 

 

Ty Webb: You’re rather attractive, for a beautiful girl with a great body.

 

“Don’t sell yourself short Judge, you’re a tremendous slouch.” — Ty Webb

 

“We have a pool and a pond. The pond is better for you.” — Ty Webb

“This is your wife, huh? Hey baby, you must’ve been something before electricity.” — Al Czervik

 

“In order to conquer an animal, I have to think like an animal, and whenever possible, look like one.” — Carl Spackler

 

“Whoa, did somebody step on a duck?” — Al Czervik

 

 

Sandy: [with heavy Scottish brogue]: Carl, I want you to kill all the gophers on the course.

Carl: Check me if I'm wrong, Sandy, but if I kill all the golfers, they'll lock me up and throw away the key.

Sandy: Not golfers, you great git! Gophers- the little brown, furry rodents!

Carl: We can do that. We don't even have to have a reason.

Sandy: Aye! Well, do it, man!

Carl: All right. Let's do the same thing, but with gophers. [Sandy storms off] It's not my fault nobody can understand what you're saying.

 

Carl: So I jump ship in Hong Kong and make my way over to Tibet, and I get on as a looper at a course over in the Himalayas.

Angie: A looper?

Carl: A looper, you know, a caddy, a looper, a jock. So, I tell them I'm a pro jock, and who do you think they give me? The Dalai Lama, himself. Twelfth son of the Lama. The flowing robes, the grace, bald... striking. So, I'm on the first tee with him. I give him the driver, he hauls off and whacks one- big hitter, the Lama- long, into a ten-thousand foot crevice, right at the base of this glacier. And do you know what the Lama says?

Angie: No.

Carl: "Gunga galunga...gunga- gunga lagunga." So we finish the eighteenth... and he's gonna stiff me. And I say, "Hey, Lama, hey, how about a little something, you know... for the effort, you know?" And he says, "Oh, uh, there won't be any money, but when you die, on your deathbed, you will receive total consciousness." So I got that goin' for me, which is nice.

Al: What're we, waiting for these guys? Hey Whitey, where's your hat?

Smails: Do you mind, sir. I'm trying to tee off.

Al: I'll bet you a hundred bucks you slice it into the woods.

Smails: Gambling is illegal at Bushwood sir, and I never slice.

[he swings his club, and slices the ball into the woods]

Smails: Damn!

Al: Okay, you can owe me.

Smails: I owe you nothing.

 

Danny: Judge Smails, sir?

Smails: Sit down, Danny. I think you know why you're here, so I'll do us the courtesy of not reviewing what happened yesterday. My niece is the kind of girl that has a certain zest for living. The last thing any of us needs now is a lot of loose talk about her behavior.

Danny: I swear I didn't tell anybody anything, sir.

Smails: Good, good. You know, despite what happened, I'm still convinced that you have many fine qualities. I think you can still become a gentleman someday if you understand and abide by the rules of decent society. There's a lot of...well, badness in the world today. I see it in court every day. I've sentenced boys younger than you to the gas chamber. I didn't want to do it- I felt I owed it to them. The most important decision you can make right now is what you stand for- goodness...or badness.

Danny: Now I know I've made some mistakes in the past. I'm willing to make up for that. I want to be good!

Smails: Very good! I know how hard it is for young people today and I want to help. Just ask my grandson, Spaulding. He and I are regular pals. Are you my pal..."Mr. Scholarship Winner"?

Danny: Yes, sir! I'm your pal!

Smails: [ruffles Danny's hair] How about a Fresca?

Spaulding: I want a hamburger-- No, cheeseburger. I want a hot dog, I want a milkshake, I want a potato...

Smails: You'll get nothing and like it!

 

Mrs. Havercamp: [hits ball into pond] Whee!
Mrs. Havercamp: Whee!
Mr. Havercamp: That's a peach hon!

Al Czervik: Hey, Wang! What's with the pictures? It's a parking lot. Come on, will ya?

Al Czervik: Hey you scratched my anchor!

Carl Spackler: Cinderella story. Outta nowhere. A former greenskeeper, now, about to become the Masters champion. It looks like a mirac...It's in the hole! It's in the hole! It's in the hole!
Carl Spackler: Cinderella story. Outta nowhere. A former greenskeeper now, about to become the Masters champion. It looks like a mirac...It's in the hole! It's in the hole! It's in the hole!

Bishop: Rat Farts!!!
Bishop: Rat farts!

Carl Spackler: Big hitter, the Lama
Carl Spackler: Big hitter, the Lama.

Ty Webb: You do drugs Danny
Ty Webb: You take drugs, Danny?
Danny Noonan: All the time
Danny Noonan: Every day.
Ty Webb: Good
Ty Webb: Good.

Spaulding Smails: I want a hamburger. No, a cheeseburger. I want a hotdog. I want a milkshake.
Spaulding Smails: I want a hamburger. No, a cheeseburger. I want a hotdog. I want a milkshake.
Judge Smails: {Judge hits Spaulding in the back of his head} You'll get nothing and like it!
Judge Smails: [judge hits Spaulding in the back of his head] You'll get nothing and like it!

Carl Spackler: A former greenskeeper, about to become the Masters champion...

Al Czervik: Wanna make 12 dollars, the hard way?

Judge Smails: Well, we're waiting.....
Judge Smails: Well, we're waiting...

Ty Webb: What brings you to this nape of the woods, neck of the wape; How come you're here?

Ty Webb: "Remember Danny - Two wrongs don't make a right but three rights make a left."
Ty Webb: Remember Danny. Two wrongs don't make a right but three rights make a left.

Lacey Underall: Wanna tie me up with your ties, Ty?

Carl Spackler: Cinderella story. Outta nowhere. A former greens keeper, now, about to become the Masters champion. It looks like a mirac...It's in the hole! It's in the hole! It's in the hole!

Ty Webb: No one likes a taddle tale Danny.. except for me
Ty Webb: No one likes a tattletale, Danny... except of course, me.

Al Czervik: Now I know why Tigers eat their young
Al Czervik: Now I know why tigers eat their young.

Ty Webb: Thank you Very Little
Ty Webb: Thank you very little.

Ty Webb: Remember Danny - Two wrongs don't make a right but three rights make a left.

Ty Webb: Be the ball.

 

 

“So I got that going for me, which is nice.” — Carl Spackler

 

“Rat farts!” — Bishop

 

 

“Hey everybody, we’re all gonna get laid!” — Al Czervik

 

 

“You buy a hat like this, I bet you get a free bowl of soup.” — Al Czervik

 

 

“Thank you very little.” — Ty Webb

 

 

“The world needs ditch diggers, too.” — Judge Smails

 

 

Al Czervik: Last time I saw a mouth like that, it had a hook in it.

 

 

 

 

Al Czervik: Oh, this is the worst-looking hat I ever saw. What, when you buy a hat like this I bet you get a free bowl of soup, huh?

Al Czervik: Oh, it looks good on you though.

 

 

Ty Webb: You take drugs, Danny?

Danny Noonan: Every day.

Ty Webb: Good. Then what’s your problem?

Danny Noonan: I don’t know.

 

Al Czervik: Whoa, did somebody step on a duck?

 

Al Czervik: You scrathed my anchor

Judge Smails: You'll get nothing and like it!

Al Czervik: (Picks up hat) Oh, this is the worst-looking hat I ever saw. What, when you buy a hat like this I bet you get a free bowl of soup, huh?
Al Czervik: [picks up hat] Oh, this is the worst-looking hat I ever saw. What, when you buy a hat like this I bet you get a free bowl of soup, huh?
Judge Smails: (Wearing same the same hat, glaring at Al)
Al Czervik: Oh, it looks good on you though. (Rolls eyes)

Al Czervik: Hey Moose! Rocko! Help my buddy here find his wallet! (Turns to crowd) Hey everybody! We're all gonna get laid!

 

Mrs. Smails: Elihu, will you come loofah my stretch marks?

 

 

Al Czervik: Oh, this your wife, huh? A lovely lady. Hey baby, you must’ve been something before electricity.

 

Al Czervik: Hey, doll. Could you scare up another round for our table over here? And tell the cook this is low-grade dog food. I’ve had better food at the ballgame, you know? This steak still has marks from where the jockey was hitting it.

 

Al Czervik: He called me a baboon, he thinks I’m his wife.

 

Judge Smails: Ty, what did you shoot today?

Ty Webb: Oh, Judge, I don’t keep score.

Judge Smails: Then how do you measure yourself with other golfers?

Ty Webb: By height.

 

Dr. Beeper: I thought you’d be the man to beat this year.

Ty Webb: I guess you’ll just have to keep beating yourself.

 

Ty Webb: I’m going to give you a little advice. There’s a force in the universe that makes things happen. And all you have to do is get in touch with it, stop thinking, let things happen, and be the ball.




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